Autumn Musings

October 27, 2024

I haven’t been in the woods all summer long; except a quick paced hike at Frontenac State Park with Jesse’s (my husband) aunt, which was more about our conversation than enjoying nature. The few photos I snapped were taken in a rush. Before that, my last jaunt in the woods was several times at the beginning of May hunting mushrooms. And although I enjoyed those many outings in the woods, I didn’t take the time to revel in the woods, being focused on finding mushrooms and generally racing against time. Very few photos were taken then too because my camera wasn’t working properly; indeed the faulty camera made me miss a fabulous photo of a nesting turkey. I splurged and bought a new camera at the end of May but sadly hardly used it over the summer.

Oh, I went for walks roughly four times a week for about forty five minutes to an hour each time but just along our dead end gravel road and only as prayer and exercise time not to enjoy nature. And it wasn’t until August that I began taking my camera with me from time to time.

My writing dried up at the beginning of July; I have desired to write, ached to, but have just been too worn out. This year has been a challenge for me but I trust God that it is just a stepping stone to the life I am supposed to have, rather than my life’s path. (I don’t mind milking cows but thirty plus hours a week is too much for me personally – too much physically and emotionally. It drains me so I don’t have the mindset to write or advertise/publicize my books. On the upside, I have had quite the spiritual journey this year, shared to some degree with Mom and two of my brothers. I also began medication for my anxiety and depression, which has helped me cope. Jesse and I hit a real low point in April but otherwise have been connected and strong. My dreams of the future – a whole lot more writing – have soared and expanded.)

In September, Jesse and I began taking Sunday afternoons to visit nearby parks to hike together, and that has been wonderful – like old times. I love exploring our woods alone and enjoy the rare moments of solitude, however, sharing the wonder of nature with someone else is amazing, especially when you can feel it restoring them too.

I write this sitting under an eastern white pine in the woods, filled with longing to write and hike more. I have paused my hike for nearly an hour – the sun rests on top of the bluff, I have roughly an hour and a half before dark. So although journaling is long overdue, I must get a move on, there’s another bluff I desire to crest before dark. If I continue on now, I will have just enough time. (I also must be mindful of the fact that no one knows exactly where I am and my cell has no service here.) Squirrels scamper in the leaf litter on the opposite bluff. Leaves drift lazily down from their branches now and then. Now that I have taken up my pencil it is so hard to set it down again and keep moving; but I should – Jesse talked of hiking Carly State park in the dark, I am not sure how serious he was so I don’t want to be out too late.

I published two more family photo essay books around the craziness of autumn, but I don’t count that as writing because they had been written for months before my Mom and I had gotten them properly formatted for publication.